Frequently Asked Questions

A: Many people would like to see their loved ones receive quality, holistic support as they face their dying time. My experience is that people get the most out of support when they seek it for themselves. If your loved one is able, please do pass them my details and invite them to get in touch.

If a person needs support to arrange a phone call and attend sessions, I am happy to work with their caregivers to arrange this. Sessions themselves should be in a private setting. Please contact me to discuss.

Perhaps you would like support for issues that have arisen for you as you deal with the practical and emotional aspects of preparing for a loss. You may find Alongside Dying sessions helpful.

A: Until relatively recently, homes and communities were where births and deaths happened, often with women caring for the dying and preparing people for burial. The intense medicalisation of death in the 20th century saw Western society lose this personal knowledge and experience.

Building on developments grown out of the hospice and social justice movements, death and dying is beginning to be reclaimed by people and communities that want greater choice, participation and meaning in their dying.

For some people, supporting others around the practicalities and unknowable mysteries of dying is a calling, which in a world of job titles can be called Death Doula, End of Life Doula or Soul Midwife, often interchangeably. Soul Midwives may offer a more spiritual approach, Death Doulas may offer more practical support, but in reality each individual brings their own blend of skills, experience and training.

A: The way I work is centred on the client relationship, navigating aspects of mortality that are always directed by you. The services I offer have been carefully designed to offer a holistic approach, but recognise that meeting mortality is a lifetime's work and a unique journey for every person. You may wish to bring specific topics that you would like to spend in-depth time with. Equally, you may  wish not to explore a particular theme.

I am happy to work flexibly with you, within the boundaries of my skills, experience and training. Led By You might offer what you need, but if that still doesn't quite reflect what you have in mind, or would like to exclude or combine services, please contact me with your request.

A: Assisted dying brings out a range of strong feelings and views. My belief is that the matter is a deeply personal one. It is my role to support the individual as they navigate their own journey, within the law. I am comfortable exploring with a person how they feel about assisted dying and euthanasia. I may be involved in supporting a person during the final phase, including if a person choses to voluntarily stop eating and drinking, but would not actively support a person with assisted dying or euthanasia.

My membership body, End of Life Doula UK, have released a statement following the passing of the Assisted Dying Bill through the House of Commons on 20th Jun:

https://eol-doula.uk/statement-following-the-passing-of-the-assisted-dying-bill/ 

The NHS also provide useful information on the topic:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/euthanasia-and-assisted-suicide/

A: My belief is that creating meaning is a deep need of human beings, particularly around difficult life events. This might come from a religious, philosophical or personal story based approach.

I have considerable experience working with people who have strong beliefs that are different from my own, and also those who feel that shape and meaning has been missing for them. I am able to work with however a person might approach meaning making, be that from a faith perspective or other worldview. I also enjoy using more every day aspects of life to explore understanding, such as sport, gardening, science and literature.

I draw an ever evolving sense of meaning from nature, philosophy and a broad range of spiritual traditions.