Frequently Asked Questions

A: Many people would like to see their person receive quality, holistic support as they face their dying time. My experience is that people get the most out of support when they seek it for themselves. If your loved one is able, please do pass them my details and invite them to get in touch.

If a person needs support to arrange a phone call and attend sessions, I am happy to work with their caregivers to arrange this. Sessions themselves should be in a private setting. Please contact me to discuss.

Often as a Doula I support the supporter. Perhaps you would like space to be with your own experience of your person coming to the end of their life. My support can be shaped around your needs, whether they be managing practical involvement, tending to anticipatory grief or any other aspect.

A: Until relatively recently, homes and communities were where births and deaths happened, often with women caring for the dying and preparing people for burial. The intense medicalisation of death in the 20th century saw Western society lose this personal knowledge and experience.

Building on developments grown out of the hospice and social justice movements, death and dying is beginning to be reclaimed by people and communities that want greater choice, participation and meaning in their dying.

Death Doula or Soul Midwife are new words to describe a practice that is not new, with knowledge and wisdom often held by marginalised groups that can help us learn how to return to this communal knowledge.

For some people, supporting others around the practicalities and unknowable mysteries of dying is a calling, which in a world of job titles can be called Death Doula, End of Life Doula or Soul Midwife, often interchangeably. Soul Midwives may offer a more spiritual approach, Death Doulas may offer more practical support, but in reality each individual brings their own blend of skills, experience and training.

A: The way I work is centred on the client relationship, navigating aspects of mortality that are always directed by you. Every death is unique, as is every life, and whilst I try to describe a range of support to give a sense of what might be possible, you are the expert in your situation and needs. You may wish to bring specific topics that you would like to spend in-depth time with. Equally, you may wish not to explore a particular theme.

I will work flexibly with you, within the boundaries of my skills, experience and training. Please contact me to explore how I can help. 

A: Working online can make doula support accessible for people living in areas that there might not be in person doula support. It can also mean I am able to offer support more flexibly when there are many demands upon a person's time, varying or limited energy levels or simply a preference to work remotely. For people living in the Bristol area, I suggest that our initial session is in person, to help us explore our 'fit' for working together, after which sessions can be a mixture of online and in person.

Online sessions often involve a more structured opening and closing to help us land, connect and safely transition out of our work together. My experience is also that online sessions are often shorter then in person sessions, as energy and focus can be experienced a little differently.

A: Assisted dying brings out a range of strong feelings and views. My belief is that the matter is a deeply personal one. It is my role to support the individual as they navigate their own journey, within the law. I am comfortable exploring with a person how they feel about assisted dying and euthanasia. I may be involved in supporting a person during the final phase, including if a person choses to voluntarily stop eating and drinking, but would not actively support a person with assisted dying or euthanasia.

My membership body, End of Life Doula UK, released a statement following the passing of the Assisted Dying Bill, which has since failed to progress, through the House of Commons on 20th Jun:

https://eol-doula.uk/eolduk-assisted-dying-statement/

The NHS also provide useful information on the topic:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/euthanasia-and-assisted-suicide/

A: My belief is that creating meaning is a deep need of human beings, particularly around difficult life events. This might come from a religious, philosophical or personal story based approach.

I have considerable experience working with people who have strong beliefs that are different from my own, and also those who feel that shape and meaning has been missing for them. I am able to work with however a person might approach meaning making, be that from a faith perspective or other worldview. I also enjoy using more every day aspects of life to explore understanding, such as sport, gardening, science and literature.

I draw an ever evolving sense of meaning from nature, philosophy and a broad range of spiritual traditions.